


Time

by nobetterpicture



Category: JYJ (Band)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-04 13:35:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5335988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nobetterpicture/pseuds/nobetterpicture
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The most important thing in an entertainer's career is time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time

**Author's Note:**

> (peaks around the corner)
> 
> H-hi....it's certainly been a while but thanks to Hamilton's lovely soundtrack, I've finally wrote the fic that I've wanted to write since Jaejoong enlisted SO HERE YOU GO 
> 
> please excuse the unbeta'd rust and sorry for the JaeChun just being subtle (well...for them. They're never subtle)

Months, years before army, the idea starts to grow to Jaejoong’s mind. This life, being an idol- becoming an _artist_ , has a time limit. A finite quantity with a set beginning and an end. 

His time in SM tells him that they understood this. SM, back then and even now, knows that with the way that the public consumes things, every singer and group will only capture attention for a certain amount of time. With the planes and trains and cars transporting them back and forth, a younger Jaejoong feels like they’ve surpassed the limits of time. Sometimes, he feels like they’re invincible beneath the sweat and tears of exhaustion. 

But being younger means that he can only take so much, and thankfully, he’s not alone. He remembers the dreadful feeling when the decision was made, the tightness of Yoochun’s fingers, the bite of his fingernails into the back of his hand while Junsu’s voice explained everything in his strong and yet exasperated tone. Before they seemed like gods, but in this small room, separated from what made them gods, Jaejoong wonders if this is when the pedals of this particular life will start to fall. 

The sun seems to dull even though their career doesn’t at first. Avex welcomes them with open arms and big promises. Japan is a second home to Jaejoong, full of new and old friends, opportunities, Yoochun and Junsu. The doubt he felt before starts to disappear, that familiar comfort of being invincible and loved and supported by all surrounding them in Tokyo Dome and then- Avex breaks all of their promises. 

From there things change. It’s not that they’re finished, but everything is much harder. To the blind eye, they have more time than ever, but really, they have no time. Behind closed doors, Jaejoong spends every moment fighting for time: a second on tv, on the radio, _anything_. In the corner of his mind, something begins to wilt. 

They, as JYJ, do less in three years than they did in one as DBSK.

Eventually, though, they find a comfortable level. They aren’t gods, they are mortals after all. Junsu phases into musicals, Yoochun pursues the dramas he’s always wanted to do but never had the chance for. And Jaejoong...Jaejoong floats. 

There is so much that he wants to do, because now he has freedom. He has time. But ironically enough, there isn’t enough time. Not as much as he wants. 

Jaejoong wants to be JYJ. He wants to release his own music. He wants to try dramas. He wants to design things. He wants to invest. He wants…

More often than not, when they’re out alone at 2am in the morning, Yoochun reaches out for his hand, fingers fitting so naturally over his knuckles. 

“What are you rushing for?” he always asks. “We have time now. It’s okay.” 

But it’s not, Jaejoong thinks. He looks in the mirror and sees the hints of wrinkles that aren’t laugh lines or anything that he’s proud of. He accepts drama after drama, singing the same OST songs, giving more of himself out almost as much as he used to when he was under SM. He gives various pieces out to people he knows are using him for his name...But that is his life. That’s what he does. 

Junsu worries and Yoochun buys drinks more often, but Jaejoong waves them away.

He is Kim Jaejoong. 

When they bow for the last time in Japan as JYJ, on Christmas Eve, a petal falls like all the tears backstage. Jaejoong takes in the sight like it’s the last time he’ll ever see it because who knows...it might be. Yoochun’s smile, Junsu’s laughter, the staff crowding around them for a final picture, two warm arms crossed over his back where tattooed names hide under his shirt. He imprints everything into his memory. 

In a blink of his eyes, he’s staring at his army enlistment. It’s not an end, not really, but to an entertainer like him, it’s almost like a death sentence. With only being able to promote through dramas, two years without any appearance…

There isn’t enough time, but Jaejoong makes time. He works like he did in his last year of SM, forgoing sleep to record, to plan, to design. Yoochun calls to meet up between drama shootings, but he denies it to work. Junsu stops by in the studio when it’s time for him to record his own solo album and his hug grounds Jaejoong to the present. 

He plans everything for his time away, makes sure his cafes will be okay, that Moldir has a trustworthy designer, that his solo album is something that he’s proud of it, that his final concerts are perfect- but it doesn’t feel like enough. The growth, the life in the back of his mind, there from when he was a young boy with nothing but a dream, feels weaker than ever. 

Jaejoong’s surrounded by his friends at his enlistment party, Yoochun’s arm around his shoulders, Junsu’s laughter echoing across the room. It feels bittersweet, like it should, but it also feels like a dream. For all that he planned for, Jaejoong still doesn’t believe he’s already at this point. 

Not even 30 years old and it feels like this is the end for the life he’d been living until now. People are fickle creatures and Jaejoong would never blame the fans for leaving him in his absence. He drifts from the group as his mind wanders. If only he had more time.

“Penny for your thoughts?” 

Yoochun stands close enough to press their shoulders together, staring out the window with him.

“Just thinking about time.”

How many times have they talked about this? How many bottles of whiskey and wine and soju have heard their worries and fears and secrets?

“A favorite topic of yours.” Jaejoong pictures the smirk on Yoochun’s face before he sees it reflected in the window. “But you know, this isn’t the end. Not for us at least. Just another kind of hiatus.” 

It’s so easy to say those words. To hear them. Much harder to believe. So Jaejoong just hums...and takes the punch to the shoulder. 

“ _Ouch_ , don’t break me before the drill instructor, Yoochun-ah.”

“Seriously....Jaejoong-” Yoochun pauses, turns to look him in the eye. “Kim Jaejoong, this isn’t the end. You have so much more time, so much more to tell the world. Give yourself some more credit, yeah? Your story isn’t over. Your voice isn’t gone.” 

Each word is serious and honest, not that Yoochun would say anything to him any other way. And maybe that’s what does it. 

Or maybe he’s just emotional and maybe it’s also the alcohol he’s been drinking all night, but Yoochun’s words ease a bit of the tension in his body, and maybe it’s the new lighting he had installed that day, but the room seems a little brighter. Warmer. 

“Thanks, Yoochun-ah.” Jaejoong’s arm fits perfectly around Yoochun’s waist the same way Yoochun’s arm slides across his shoulders. 

At that moment, someone calls them for another picture to upload to instagram and Jaejoong tugs an unwilling Yoochun over. As they smile for a hundred pictures, Jaejoong feels more pieces of himself being taken and shared and a bigger sense of calm spreads throughout his body. 

This isn’t the end. There is still so much time.


End file.
